Put a Sock in it, Jess

Did anyone else see Jessica Simpson on Oprah last week? (See notes on interview here.) Jessica, while lovely (and apparently dynamite in the ole sackaroo), probably did well to abstain from commenting on the media scrutiny of her so-called "weight." The more she talked, the more I cringed. And you?

As The Big O so eloquently shared, Jessica has been a proverbial bulls-eye for the media ever since she let cameras in on her young marriage in "The Newlyweds." What a shocker. Now, it seems this Texas native can't even enjoy a corn dog without inviting the shuttering of camera lenses. I sympathize with her. No really, I do. It must be terrible when your ex-boyfriend announces to the world that your body is a wonderland. Just awful. And I think it's terrible what the media/culture does to women, picking them apart like pledges at a sorority initiation ceremony. No REALLY, I do. But Jessica certainly does not have a stable platform on which to stand for such a discussion.

I especially liked it when she lamented the fact that she's not as big as the media would have you believe. That she is in fact a size 4-6. She followed that up with, and this is NOT a direct quote, "They make it sound like I'm 240 pounds or something!"

Someone get the duct tape.

She says this to Oprah who the world knows weighed in at 237 pounds at her peak. It's as if to say women who manage to stay within the 4-6 range should not flog themselves nightly. But those of you in the 240+ range, let the flogging begin! I think she hoped her moments of verbal diarrhea would be endearing once she became a household name. I thought I would get past the point of shock and awe. But she still has some juice left in her tank. Anybody got a match?

(Photo shamelessly lifted from Oprah.com.)

Oscars, Baby...

It's Oscar week. The Oscars give me a little thrill, I won't lie. And this year, there are a few changes, as in lots more movies up for Best Picture. I am torn beyond measure because I've seen quite a few movies this year thanks to The Kentuckian, who drags me to almost every new release. Kicking and screaming.

Of the Best Picture Noms, I haven't seen 'Up,' 'A Serious Man,' or 'Precious' (I know!!!). All I know is if Avatar wins, I'm gonna choke on a Junior Mint. It was wonderful, but it did not affect me the way 'An Education,' 'Up in the Air,' or 'The Hurt Locker' did. Same goes for 'The Blind Side.' After reading Christopher Kelly's article in February's Texas Monthly, 'Stop the Blitz,' I just didn't feel the same way about it.

What do you think? Who's going home with faceless gold dudes?

On 'New Project' Temptations

How sweet it is. A deliciously exciting new idea for a book. You're out for a jog. The dog poops directly on the sidewalk. You are grateful that you brought two baggies instead of one, for he pooped on the sidewalk once already. You pick up said poop, walk to trashcan, and then BAM! It drops out of the sky like bird poop on a windshield. (Lots of poo imagery, I know, I'm stopping, but this is how it happens sometimes.)

Characters, fully formed. A more-than-skeletal plot. Tension. Conflict. The whole enchilada. You run home, fire up lap top and begin writing outline. Then you have flashes of dialogue. Write that down. A scene. Write that down. You are flying high, a bounce in your step. Then the bounce is gone when you remember, "Oh yeah, I'm spoken for."

That other manuscript. The one you've been working on for so long and it's al-most-finished. It was love at first sight with that idea too. What's to be done?

Does this happen to you? Fellow aspiring writers? Even former aspiring writers (aka published)? I'm struggling with this at the moment. One, I feel I'm cheating on my other idea. Two, it makes me wonder if my old idea isn't as great as I think it is and that's why I'm being tempted away. How does one battle the allure??

Here's my plan: 1st draft for manuscript one is almost finished. (Literally. But a few straggling scenes left to go.) Exercise discipline (?) to finish 1st draft. Then, while manuscript one cooks, begin working on idea two. Sound good?

I know I'm not the only story-oriented person this has happened to. How do you rationalize it? How do you to go forth and FINISH SOMETHING when such slithery temptations are on the horizon?

To Kindle or not to Kindle

There's been quite a bit of chatter on the blogosphere in recent months about ebooks. Whether or not they will bring the book business to its knees. Whether they are a sign the end is coming. Yada yada. I have to say I was in the "you will have to rip my paper books from my kung-fu grip" camp there for a while. But I think I've made the dreaded cross-over. I know! THE HORROR!

It all came about when I wanted a book I couldn't get from the library. And, as it were, didn't want to pay for shipping from Amazon. It was a new-ish book (a book I CANNOT stop talking/thinking about, JUST READ IT, mmmkay?) and there weren't many reviews, so I figured it would be a good test book for the ole' Kindle for PC app. I'm tellin' ya, in about three minutes, I had the book.

And that was all it took. I now have seven books in my Kindle library and I've read four of them. Of those seven, only two of them were $9.99 (the hotly debated price for ebooks). The rest only cost 50% of that. I've done more reading in the last week since downloading this God forsaken app than I have in the last month.

Warning: the reason being because it's so easy to just click on over from whatever I should be doing on my computer to read "JUST A CHAPTER! I SWEARS!" Before you know it, you're half way done with the book, you're in danger of being entombed with laundry, and Adult Protective Services is carting away your spouse.

I have yet to purchase the actual Kindle. I'm still on the fence about that. Reviews seem mixed and the current price tag leaves a bit to be desired. But I'm leaning at about a 45-degree angle in that direction. What are your thoughts on the ebook phenomenon? Are you getting on board or ready to hold out till the end?

A Commonplace Blog

When I'm in the mood for a little light reading, I head on over to the blogosphere and soak up a little humor from a few of my favorite blogs: Janet Reid, Query Shark, The Rejectionist, and when feeling sentimental, the dearly departed Miss Snark. However, bloggage is not just for the masses, I'm learning, as I occasionally wander over to this little gem, Dr. D.G. Myers of our own Texas A & M University.

Okay, so I've yet to snicker while reading Dr. Myers posts. How he manages to muster enough breath for such musings on said 'sphere is beyond me. But I must say, he offers quite a bit more than the traditional "Omigod i LOVE thiss book!" approach to online book review. No, there is no mention of Twilight. In fact, I feel a tad iffy about mentioning it in the same paragraph, nay, POST, as his blog.

He does, however, compile a very interesting list of great Texas novels, all of which I intend to add to my to-read list, especially Whitewater, about a man who escapes his small Texas town only to find his thoughts remain on the home front. A sentiment this "expat" understands well. He will also defend Lolita's position as the greatest novel in history until he's blue in the face. I keep going back hoping to be convinced. If only it were the subject matter barring me beyond page 50, IF ONLY! Maybe I could save face.

You'll also find a cool-ish review of Woodsburner, a novel about the little known forest fire started by a not so little known transcendentalist named Henry David Thoreau. The author, John Pipkin, happens to be an Austinite who's better half teaches Victorian lit at my alma mater.
In the mean time, check it out. Chuckling: unlikely. Very serious, high-brow literary criticism: guaranteed.

A National, er, State Holiday

That's right, folks. Today is the anniversary of Texas's declaration of independence from Mexico in 1836. Settlers in Texas drafted up this tricksy little document here and thereby said, "Hmph, we gonna take our toys and go home." I'm kinda glad they did, since it makes Texas one of THE most history-makin'-est states in the union.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I will be listening to Little Texas's 'God Blessed Texas' every hour, on the hour, until I just can't stands it no more. Not really. I'll listen to it a few times and two-step alone in my kitchen before I must get back to the grindstone (since we don't celebrate Texas holidays out here on the West Coast. Darn shame, I'll say).